I look around at the world I live in-and, folks, I hate to tell tales out of school, but it’s not the African-Americans who have made this planet such a pitiful, scary place to inhabit. Recently a headline on the front page of the Science section of the New York Times asked the question “Who Built the H-Bomb?” The article went on to discuss a dispute that has arisen between the men who claim credit for making the first bomb. Frankly, I could have cared less-because I already know the only pertinent answer: “IT WAS A WHITE GUY!” No black guy ever built or used a bomb designed to wipe out hordes of innocent people, whether in Oklahoma City, Columbine, or Hiroshima. No, my friends, it’s always the white guy.
Let’s go to the tote board:
* Who gave us the black plague? A white guy.
* Who invented PBC, PVC, PBB, and a host of chemicals that are killing us? White guys.
* Who has started every war America has been in? White men.
* Who is responsible for the programming on FOX? White men.
* Who invented the punch card ballot? A white man.
* Whose idea was it to pollute the world with the internal combustion engine? Whitey, that’s who.
* The Holocaust? That guy really gave white people a bad name (that’s why we prefer to call him a Nazi and his little helpers Germans).
* The genocide of Native Americans? White man.
* Slavery? Whitey!
* So far in 2001, American companies have laid off over 700,000 people. Who ordered the layoffs? White CEOs.
* Who keeps bumping me off the Internet? Some friggin’ white guy, and if I find him, he’s a dead white guy.
You name the problem, the disease, the human suffering, or the abject misery visited upon millions, and I’ll bet you ten bucks I can put a white face on it faster than you can name the members of ‘N Sync.